I have had seven babies, and this might come as a surprise—but I’ve had my babies with seven different providers in six different locations. Well, almost seven locations. My first five births were in different hospitals across three states. Then I technically had my last two babies in the same location—home. (You’ll find out later why I say “technically.”)
I know it sounds crazy. Why so little consistency? Did I want a hospital passport? Are we military? I get asked the latter question one lot.
The answer is no, we’re not military. The reasons for the changes were many: location changes, insurance difficulties, and not being happy with my care providers.
From baby one to baby seven, this is the first part of the story of how I finally made the decision to birth at home.
The First Pregnancy: Hospital Birth in Naples, Florida
We were living in Naples, FL, when I found out I was pregnant with our first baby. First pregnancy—so exciting, right? Seeing those two pink lines was absolutely thrilling.
When I was first pregnant with my eldest, Drew, I couldn’t believe there was a real, tiny human growing inside me. What a miracle!
My mom had all seven of her babies the conventional medicine route—hospital with an epidural. No judgment here; that’s what worked well for her.
Since I was raised with this background and mentality, a natural birth was the farthest thing from my mind.
My First Birth Plan: Epidural, Please!
These days it feels like more women—or maybe it’s just the circles I run in—plan for the perfect natural first birth. But not me.
Hospital and drugs—that was my plan. I was getting that epidural.
(I laugh now when I compare how I thought then versus how I think now. It’s amazing how much your mentality can shift over time!)
And at least for this birth, my epidural birth plan worked out exactly how I wanted.
Drew’s Birth: A Fast First Labor and a Smooth Hospital Delivery
Drew decided to come at 39 weeks, which completely shocked me. He came a whole week early! My mom was actually in denial when we were heading to the hospital—all of her babies were very late, so she didn’t believe I was really in labor. But that baby was coming!
As soon as the contractions started getting intense, I asked for the epidural. True to my plan, I got it—and overall, Drew’s labor and delivery went smoothly. I had no regrets.
For a first labor, Drew was fast. My contractions started around 2:00 p.m., and he was born by 9:30 p.m. I quickly realized I didn’t take after my mom when it came to labor. Instead, I seem to have inherited the “fast labor” gene from my dad’s mom!
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A New State, a New Provider, and Baby #2 on the Way
About a month after Drew was born, Paul found a new job and we moved to Virginia. We were so excited to be out of Florida and finally somewhat closer to my family in Maryland. We actually lived with my family for six months before buying our first home and officially settling in Virginia.
Not too long after we moved in, I found out that it was already time for baby number two. Two babies in under two years—whew! This new pregnancy also meant another new hospital and provider, thanks to the move.
A Surprise Early Labor at 37 Weeks
I really thought I’d make it to 40 weeks. Sure, it would’ve been nice to have another early baby, but I never imagined I’d go into labor at 37 weeks and 4 days.
Paul had been working a lot that week in mid-August, and I was completely exhausted—chasing around a toddler in my third trimester had me feeling done. Just for fun, I joked with Paul that we should buy some pineapple to help get things going.
Turns out, I didn’t even have to eat the pineapple. Just thinking about it must have done the trick—because soon, my contractions started coming three minutes apart!
The provider I had at the time had warned me that this labor might be faster, since my first was considered short—but I didn’t fully understand what “fast labor” meant until Samantha was born.
Ignored by the Doctor, but Baby Was Coming Fast
I called the provider’s office, and the doctor on call unfortunately really made me doubt whether I was in labor or not. (She must not have even looked at my file to know this could have been a quick labor.) I told her about the contractions and how close they were, and she told me to sit on the couch, drink water, and put my feet up for an hour.
As I followed the doctor’s orders, Paul—even though this was only the second baby—started loading the car. He was not taking any chances. The hospital was 45 minutes away, and he eventually convinced me to head to the car sooner than the hour was up (I cannot remember how long I actually sat, but the contractions were happening quickly, so it could not have been long).
We had Drew with us, and we called my sister and, at the time, her boyfriend (now a wonderful brother-in-law) and asked them to meet us at the hospital. They were an hour and a half away. We probably should have planned childcare ahead of time, but the rest of my family was driving home from a New Hampshire vacation, and this was the only plan we had.
A Race Against Time: Labor at the Hospital
We arrived at the hospital and headed to the nurse station. I went through the motions of changing into the hospital gown and was put into triage. Paul, Drew, and I sat there for an amount of time I do not remember, but it felt long. We were also anxiously waiting on my sister to arrive to babysit Drew.
The contractions were still close together, and no nurse was yet attending to us, so Paul went to their desk—where he found them having a grand time discussing their previous evening’s plans rather than checking on the woman most likely in active labor. He kindly but firmly asked them to come and check on me.
A nurse did—and I was 6 cm. This baby was coming today!
She then looked at me and realized I needed to be moved to labor and delivery ASAP. (Do not understand why this did not happen sooner, but this is how the story goes.)
Chaos, Paperwork, and a Baby on the Way
I arrived at the delivery room (mind you, Paul was still holding 16-month-old Drew), and they started doing all the stupid (yes, I have no other word) paperwork questions. (Seriously, these questions were complete torture as I now know I was moving into transition at that moment. The focus should have been on my comfort and mentally preparing me for the next step. Yet, this is a side note…)
I could feel my contractions coming so fast and wished desperately for the nurse to stop asking me questions. I was so incoherent (remember, I had no natural labor at this point and still did not plan on having a natural labor) that I did not say much (oh, I have learned now).
She finally looked down at her machine and realized I was about to have a baby (really cannot believe she did not notice earlier). Everyone moved into action, and we got the call that my sister arrived.
Paul asked if he could bring Drew down, but the nurse told him that if he left, he would miss the birth. So, he asked my sister to come up and grab Drew as fast as she could.
Once Drew was gone, it happened in what felt like mere seconds.
My First Natural Birth: Fast, Painful, and Empowering
I was so upset about not getting an epidural, and the doctor came and shot me with some pain medicine, which was so horrible and painful. She should have told me I could do it, because there was no time for any numbing to happen.
Then she caught Samantha and left. That was it.
(Yes, I felt frustrated with the actions of this doctor.)
We had been at the hospital for 45 minutes.
Once the shock had worn off, I realized I had had my first natural birth. And I felt amazing.
The after-feeling of having no epidural post-baby was one I wanted to repeat. I discovered that the labor pain was so worth it, because the recovery was so much better.
Postpartum Warning Signs: When Heavy Bleeding Isn’t Normal
When I was about four weeks postpartum, I was still bleeding heavily. Since we had moved so quickly after I had Drew, I couldn’t fully remember how long or how much I bled that time—but this bleeding looked too heavy.
I called my provider’s office, and they wanted to put me on progesterone. I felt uncomfortable with that, and my mom said maybe I was just doing too much. I decided there was no reason to take progesterone if I just needed to put my feet up more. (Mamas, always follow your instincts!)
Well, that provider really should have asked me to come in instead of just trying to prescribe over the phone.
A Middle-of-the-Night Emergency
Less than a week later, I woke up in the middle of the night and had bled through everything. I cannot even fully describe the horror of waking up to so much blood and clots.
Paul drove me, 17-month-old Drew, and five-week-old Samantha to the ER in the middle of the night. My parents were an hour and a half away, but they met us there to take the kids home while we figured out what was wrong with me.
I had an ultrasound, and they found a fingernail-sized piece of placenta. I had what is known as retained placenta, where some of the placenta remains attached to the uterus.
The reason why was unclear—maybe it was because of how fast my labor was—but who knows?
Emergency Procedure and Hard-Learned Lessons
The doctors first tried to put me on a miscarriage medicine to force the placenta out, but it didn’t work. So, I was scheduled for a D&C procedure. It was successful, but the whole experience was traumatic.
Paul and I were very grateful that—despite this rollercoaster—Samantha and I were healthy.
Now, I tell other moms: if you’re filling pads or passing clots postpartum, always call your doctor or midwife, and make them see you. It is better to be told it’s normal than to drag two babies under the age of two to the ER in the middle of the night.
Also—really—heavy bleeding at four weeks postpartum is not normal.
Losing Trust in My Providers
After this experience, my eyes began to open to bad providers. From not believing I was in labor to missing signs that I was bleeding too much postpartum, I had had it with this doctor’s office in Virginia.
I was also very done with being cared for by a large group practice. I barely had a relationship with any one provider in the office—and no one actually knew me.
It was time to find a new, more personal OB for whenever that next baby came… and it was a lot sooner than I thought.
I had Kateri three days after Drew turned three. Hello to three children age three and under.
At this point, I still thought birth center? Home birth?
No, I would never even consider!
To be continued in Part 2.
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