From Two to Nine: Our Growing Family Story
We are a family of nine. My wonderful husband, Paul, and I have seven beautiful children, all ages 13 and under. Yes, you read that correctly—we have seven kids, ages 13 and under. Even other large families we meet hear the ages of our children and say, “Oh, they’re close!”
What can I say? God had a plan and gave my husband and me the most unexpected wild adventure. Are adventures easy? Absolutely not. But can we be grateful? Absolutely, yes. Was this all planned? Nope.
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What I Thought I Knew About Family Spacing
I grew up in a large family as the eldest of seven children, but we were spaced two to four years apart; there’s a 17-year age difference between my youngest sister and me. Many of our large-family friends have similar age gaps to the ones I grew up with. There were maybe one or two families we knew who had many little kids close together.
Children coming in gaps of under two years? That was a novelty. I always assumed breastfeeding naturally spaced babies, since that’s how it worked for my mom, aunts, and the other women I grew up around. Was I so surprised, when I realized that was a myth.
Discovering What “Stair-Stepper Children” Really Means
The first time I saw families with children very close in age (I’ve now learned this is called having “stair-stepper children”—yes, that’s what mine are!) was during college at Ave Maria University. There were so many families where the babies seemed to double every time I saw them.
I thought, my kids will never come that fast or be that close in age.
How naïve was I? Very.
Letting Go of the Plan: Embracing God’s Timing
I always wanted a large family, and Paul was on board as well. We never had a particular number in mind. But as you’ll come to learn about us—we take life as it comes. We do plan some things, but despite our best efforts, life has a way of changing course, no matter how hard we try to steer.
Young Marriage
Paul and I were married in January 2010 at ages 22 and 23, respectively. I know those ages are considered very young in today’s society, but as you’ll come to learn, Paul and I don’t follow societal norms. Life is a lot more fun when you prayerfully carve your own unique path.
Marrying young is something I do not regret. In fact, if young people are blessed to find the right spouse in their early 20s, I’ll most likely always recommend marriage—as long as there are no obvious red flags and the couple can support themselves with the basic necessities.
Why wait? Marriage is one of the most beautiful, rewarding challenges and adventures I know. The sooner it begins, the longer you’ll have to live with the love of your life by your side. Tackling life’s obstacles is so much more pleasant when the graces of the sacrament of marriage are present.
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Faith, Family Planning, and Our First Baby
We were successful at natural family planning (we don’t use birth control for faith and health reasons—and well, we love babies) when we were first married. Our first baby, Drew, wasn’t born until March 2012.
Then… began the unexpected.
The Unexpected Begins: Two Babies in 16 Months
In January 2013, we went to a wedding, and everyone came home with a stomach virus. My nausea never improved. As I was huddled in the hallway one day, feeling sick, I realized I needed a pregnancy test. It was, of course, positive—and Drew was only 8 months old.
I didn’t even think that since I was nursing and my baby was under a year old that I could become pregnant so quickly. Everyone had told me, nursing babies naturally gives good spacing. I know—naive again—but that’s how the story goes.
Samantha came three weeks early in August 2013. I now had two babies only 16½ months apart. I’m not sure what I thought—maybe it was a fluke, that I became pregnant while nursing.
A Surprise Pregnancy and the Myth of Breastfeeding Spacing
Drew’s nursing journey (a story for another time) was also very challenging, and I thought maybe that contributed. Then, at my sister’s July 2014 wedding, I didn’t even know baby #3 was already growing.
I quickly learned that—at least for my body—breastfeeding and natural family spacing was a myth.
Kateri was born in March 2015. Drew had just turned three.
A turn of events I never expected: three children ages three and under.
A Move, a New Baby, and a Whole Lot of Grace
We made a big move from Virginia to Maryland at the end of 2015 to be closer to family. Paul and I decided that if the babies were coming this fast, we needed to be near my mom.
Then—between postpartum recovery, the stress of the move, the daily survival of life with three very little kids, and the ongoing struggle to understand my fertility (I simply wasn’t educated in postpartum NFP and didn’t know where to turn)—we became pregnant with baby #4.
Theodore was born in November 2016.
A Growing Family: More Surprises and Unmeasurable Blessings
A year later, we thought, Wow! We’re not pregnant before the one-year marker!
But God decided otherwise—Theodore was no longer the youngest at just 13 months old another little miracle was on the way. Adelaide was born in August 2018.
I do want to pause and express that even though, after Drew, each child was technically a “surprise” (though there are no real surprises when you’re open to life), we are forever thankful for each one of our children. God knew we needed each individual blessing.
Finding Our Rhythm—and Losing It Again, Lovingly
After Adelaide, I finally wrapped my head around postpartum natural family planning with the Marquette Method and using instructors from Whole Mission. Honestly, we had felt like we were drowning. We finally had our biggest age gap between children, and eventually felt we could handle another baby.
Our sweet Gregory was born in the driveway (Read that story here!) in May 2021.
What a novelty it was having a 2½-year gap.
Yet again, I misjudged my fertility, and Joshua was born in July 2023.
Full Circle at 38: Following in My Mother’s Footsteps
Now here I am at 38 years old with seven children. I’m in daily awe that I now have the same number of children as my beautiful mother.
Her seventh child came when she was 42. She has sadly passed from this earth, but I know she would smile and say, “You are very efficient!”
This comes from the woman who once said she wanted 100 grandchildren.
Embracing the Chaos: Gratitude in Our Wild, Growing Family
So, yes—the large family grew way faster than we thought. But one thing Paul and I have learned is that any steering we attempted didn’t really matter, because God is ultimately in control.
There are many times when my husband and I are literally pulling our hair out as we look around our messy house in dismay and listen to the persistent demands of each child. Yet, would we actually change it if we could?
Absolutely not.
We would much rather take the good with the chaotic and hard, and embrace our wild blessings while always giving gratitude to God.
So, here is the end of my first post, as I welcome you to our Gratefully Wild Home.
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